I meant to post this a couple weeks ago while actually on an airplane… whoops…
I’m really not finding my situation any easier. Coming to work becomes more difficult every day knowing that I am closer and closer to uncertainty in my future work. I fear not having a placement lined up. I become more and more anxious, and more and more resentful of those who get to keep their jobs.
I am a great teacher. I know I am. I love what I do, and I want to keep doing it. Why can’t I find a job?? Why won’t anyone call me back?? Am I not that. Good on paper? Or have my colleagues and supervisors pulled a veil over my eyes to lead me to falsely believe I am a great educator?
Right now as I write this I am sitting on a plane, Flying back to Atlanta, the city I left where I landed probably the best job a new and old teacher could get in the metropolitan area. Sometimes I resent that I left that job. But then I never would have met Michael, and let’s just hope there’s more to this sentence with a better job waiting to find me here in Philly.
During the majority of the flight I read most of an e-book written by one of my college professors, Paula Eubanks. She wrote about pinhole photography; the history, the process, artists, projects, etc. It had me reflecting back to my teaching photography classes at North Springs High School. I loved it so much. I loved the students, and their enthusiasm for the art, and how exciting the whole process was for both of us. And we were all so good at it! I was able to teach them in an orderly, systematic way with clarity so they unrestored the material, and they produced stunning, captivating work that spoke with subtle sophistication. I could not have asked for a better first two years of teaching. Reading Paula’s book really made me want to teach photography again, and to take my own photos again.
I know ultimately that I want to be in the high school level classroom again, and I certainly hope that is what I am granted, though I know I can do good wherever I go. I just hope that some principle or human resources person out there just reads my info and realizes what there is in me. Get past the paper and get me in the classroom.